How to Room Share with a baby and a Toddler
A Joint Blog w/ Jess Martinez creator of The Vine Wild
Once upon a time, two everyday mamas (Jess and me) were trying to figure out how a baby and toddler could successfully room-share. To our surprise, we couldn’t find any info or tips on sibling room-sharing. Thank goodness we had each other to get through this, since the blogging/internet world failed us. After our own research and some trial & error, we came together and decided to share what we learned. We are all about lifting each other up, and lifting YOU up, too!
You may find this blog helpful if you have an infant or toddler and recently welcomed a baby who is now ready to transition to a crib in the same room. Congratulations! Let me just start out by reassuring you that this is totally doable.
My babies are 22 months apart, and Jess’s are 15 months apart. We both decided that what was best for us and our families was to have both of those sweet, cute, silly babies in the same room.
After making this decision, we searched the internet high and low. We scoured Pinterest, Google, mom groups, etc. There was NO information on how to make this work. It works for twins and older kids, so why couldn’t we find a single article on putting a baby in the same room as a toddler?
Full disclosure here – we’re both super scheduled moms. Our babies have set naptimes and bedtimes, and we stick to them. Do not mess with our schedules. They keep us sane. This turned out to be an advantage! Having them on a schedule is the best pre-requisite for baby/toddler room-sharing.
If you want to know more about how I got my kids on a schedule, you can check out this blog about establishing routine.
Okay, here it is. All you do is... put the baby in the crib! LOL yes, that’s it. I’m laughing. I wish I knew it was going to be that easy. I mean physically, that’s all you do. Then you sit in the other room and watch them on the video monitor like a straight psycho. Just me? Okay.
Step 1: Establishing a naptime
Jess: We transitioned Kyla to two naps a day, so starting out we got her used to the crib in the shared room by putting her in there for her morning nap and afternoon nap (shared with Myles.) By doing this we were able to get the two of them used to each other’s nosies.
Ale: Atlas was around 6 months old when I went for it. I started by having him take his morning nap in the crib in their shared room. Once he was regularly taking his morning nap and sleeping peacefully, I felt like he was ready to move in with big sis.
The next step was their afternoon nap together. Atlas did not nap at all on the first day. Quinn talked and tried to look at him for an hour before finally falling asleep. I kept both in there until the end of nap time. This is when consistency is important. It took three afternoon naps before Atlas and Quinn were both sleeping peacefully together in the same room.
Jess: Consistency is totally key in this, Ale is so right. The second you hear that baby cry you WILL panic. You WILL think your baby is ruining your toddlers perfect schedule. And you WILL want to run in there. Don’t do it. They’ll figure it out.
Step 2: Overnight
Jess: Not too long after we tried out the naps, we were ready for overnight. Again, schedule is so important. Making sure that baby is going down similar to toddler wherever they are sleeping is how to make this work. So we just went for it! And it went surprisingly well. I was able to sneak in and out to grab the baby when she needed to be fed without waking Myles. And that’s the thing I removed her from the room so she knew that awake time and sleep time were two very different things.
Ale: I did it all in one day. Yes, I’m insane. Even though Atlas didn’t sleep during the afternoon nap, the night went smoother than ever. I think it’s because he was already used to his crib, the sound machine, and a dark room. I was SHOCKED. Still am. I was so worried about them waking each other up with cries and other nighttime noises. They don’t even bother each other. I think their noises soothe each other more than anything. Just stick to your gut, you’ve got this! And YAY, you have your room back to yourself!
Jess: As with everything in mommyhood, if we just try it, we find that it was much easier and not as big of a deal as you made it out to be. Kids and babies are so resilient and adaptable. We are usually the ones making it harder on ourselves. Like Ale said, trust your gut mama. YOU know what’s best.
My kiddos, Quinn (3) and Atlas (18 months), LOVE sharing a room. They sleep great, and if they are both awake at the same time, they play sweet games with each other. Jess’s kiddos, Myles (3) and Kyla (22 months), do the exact same thing.
If sibling room-sharing is something you’re considering, just know that it is possible. We both love it. They are on the exact same schedule, and their bond melts my heart. The best part is that mama and papa have their nights and nap times free!
Mama, YOU’VE GOT THIS. You are not crazy, and it’s a great decision for you. We hope this article is just what you needed and gave you the motivation you needed to put those two precious babies in the same room.
I want to end this with a quick shoutout to Jess. I’m so thankful to go through motherhood with her by my side. We lift each other up and support each other in everything we do. She gives me the advice I need (even when I don’t want to hear it). She is my saving grace in a lot of aspects of life, not just motherhood. When you have a friend like Jess, you keep her in your corner.
We would love to be your mom friends and hear about your room-sharing journey! Find us on Instagram: @alwaysandwhatever (Ale) and @jessicaleanney (Jess)
Go check out The Vine Wild + her version of this blog <3